If you are reading this, you likely already know who I am. And if you’re a hysbristophile, a rubbernecker, a muckraker, a true-crime junkie, a journalist, a podcaster, a psych student hoping to exploit me for a paper, a lonely girl with daddy issues who wants to feel edgy by chatting with a killer, a lovelorn pederast looking for a boy toy, an incel or red-piller seeking validation of your toxic worldview, an evangelist trying to draft me to the Jesus team, or any other sort of psychic vampire, don’t bother greeting me because I don’t want to talk. You’d be wasting time and stamps.
But if you are not any of the above and you’d like an unconventional friend with whom you can share enlightening, entertain conversation, then flick a greeting to me through the Securus e-messaging app. I’m especially eager to discuss cats, corvids, videogames, music, Calvin and Hobbes, Monty Python, media studies, philosophy, psychology, sociology, medieval history, religion, and occultism.
Again, use the Securus app. The overlords of Castle Ferguson no longer allow us dungeon dwellers to receive physical mail.
Man is condemned to be free. Semper ambulo in Via Sinistra.
