Hello how you doing, being my Sentence of “LIFE” and Charges of Conspiracy to Kidnapping and Kidnapping” seem to be the Most Attractive, “Like DAMM What!”
Let me tell y’all a lil joke. It’s called “Life… Are You Serious?”
Spoiler alert it ain’t funny.
So once upon a time, in North Carolina
There was an alleged kidnapping.
But guess what? The “Victim” was already under Federal Investigation for drug trafficking and money laundering.
So you’d think the feds would be on point, Right?
Naah they out here playing Spy Kids with ILLEGAL TRACKING DEVICES.
Anyway, this guy we’ll call him “P” pulls up to his storage unit.
Does he commit a crime?
NOPE.
Does he see the Allege Victim?
Also NOPE.
He loads up some Tires, Cases of Bottled Water, and a Hot Dog Stand.
Yup, a HOTDOG Stand.
Apparently, that’s how you prep for a Kidnapping now BY CATERING IT.
Later that night, the “Victim” is Reported Kidnapped.
And I’m Like
“Hold Up, Don’t y ‘all have a TRACKER on his Car?!”
Turns out the “Kidnapped” dude was Recovered, driving his own vehicle, coming out of a Dead-end road like he took a wrong turn.
They Stop him and ask:
“Sir, can you Describe Your Kidnappers?”
He says: Yes, “It was to Masked Men, 5’10, 190 pounds.”
Now Remember “P” is 6’5″ and weighs over 225.
He ain’t hard to miss, Unless you’re Blind and Lying.
So the Cops do 10 hours of surveillance on “P” with ZERO Evidence …
They Check DMV Records and say,
“Oh Snap, this guy got a RECORD from 1991!”
Suddenly he’s PUBLIC ENEMY No. ONE because of something he did when Tupac was still alive.
Mind you, since Getting Out, “P” Raised his Daughter, Held Multiple Jobs, Started Businesses, Did his Thing.
But that Don’t Matter when they Trying to PIN Somebody for Something.
So the next morning BOOM Traffic Stop.
NO VIOLATIONS.
Just GUNS DRAWN like it’s a GTA Mission.
“GET OUT THE VEHICLE! WALK BACKWARDS TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!”
NO Warrant(s)
NO Charges
Just Vibes.
And the WARRANTS they do write later?
ALL Headlined “THE EASTERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK”
Then the next day, They’re Changed to “THE EASTERN DISTRICT OF NORTH CAROLINA” and Filed.
Oh Word? You can Change your Jurisdiction like it’s a ZIP code?
Fast Forward to Trial.
Guess who NEVER Shows Up?
The Victim.
Because Apparently, his Lawyer said, “If y’all Subpoena him, He’s Pleading the Fifth.”
HUH??
So let get this Straight.
NO ID, NO Testimony, NO VICTIM at ALL.
But “P” Still Gets LIFE?
I Tell Y’all it ain’t Funny.
But it’s the kind of Story that makes you laugh just to keep From Crying.
Catch your Breath, Right Quick.
Here’s some More Funny Shhh.
Remember in 2023
Some Individuals Convicted of Same Federal Charges as “P”?
You Can Go Right to USA Today, GOOGLE Choose One
But the VICTIM was “A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL!”
Plans to KILL Her, BLOW UP and Bridge to Escape and More…
Ring Leader 16yrs, Yaaaaah 16yrs.
And through it All, “P” is Still Fighting.
Still Dreaming about the day he can Return to his Daughter.
And Maybe just Maybe to You.
Because at the End of the Day
He’s NOT Looking for Sympathy.
He’s Looking for Justice and Maybe a Permanent Cuddle Buddy for Movie Nights.
