* Monika and Mark Skinner filed a $35 million lawsuit in July in
Newport News, Va., in connection with the 1994 death of their
son, age 16, who was riding in a car that drove off a road and
plunged into a lake.  Among the defendants:  Kmart, which sold
a computer cleaning product to the car's driver, which he and the
Skinner boy used to get high by "huffing"; two engineering
consulting firms that designed the lake that the car fell into; and
the company that designed the road the car was traveling on
because it should have been farther away from the lake.
[Newport News Daily Press, 7-31-96]

* An Airplane "Black Box" for the Home:  In July, the Dallas
Morning News reported on Arlington, Tex., landscaper Alan
Weaver's new in-home, half-inch-thick steel box, called the Safe-
N-Side, which is large enough for a person to ride out a tornado
in.  The largest model is 48 (inches) by 40 by 27, weighs 1,300
pounds, and sells for just under $2,000; Weaver says it will resist
most handgun bullets and a 2-by-4 going 100 mph. [San Antonio
Express-News-Dallas Morning News, 7-6-96]

* Who Cares?:  A pre-trial hearing was held in March in the $3
million lawsuit by a Lehman Brothers investment banker against
a Lehman Brothers bond trader for hitting him between the eyes
with his tee shot at the Rockaway Hunting Club in Lawrence,
N.Y. [Dow Jones wirecopy, 3-12-96]

* In August, the St. Louis Art Museum filed a $2.5 million
lawsuit against the Whitney Museum of Modern Art in New
York City, and other parties, because a Whitney guard damaged
a Roy Lichtenstein painting while it was on loan to the Whitney.
According to the lawsuit, guard Reginald Walker, 21 at the time,
drew a heart and "Reggie + Crystal 1/26/91" on the painting
with a felt-tip marker and wrote, "I love you Tushee, Love,
Buns." [New York Times-Reuters, 8-8-96]

* According to a May report in the New York Times, one of
Argentina's most popular radio programs is "Loony Radio,"
produced by and featuring patients at the Borda Psychiatric
Hospital in Buenos Aires.  One presents "The Bolivian Minute"
show but usually giggles uncontrollably until the producer
reminds him that he is on the air.  Another man delivers
philosophy lectures claiming to be "more schizophrenic than
anyone" and says he is anxious with every incoming patient
because he fears losing his title.  One of Argentina's best-known
talk radio hosts says the patients are often more insightful than
his callers are. [New York Times, 5-14-96]

* In May, Harlan County (Ky.) prosecutor Alan Wagers said his
office would help Denise Rush, 27, appeal a trial court's denial
of her lawsuit to get the father of her child to pay support.  The
father was 14 at the time, making Rush apparently guilty of
statutory rape, but she was never prosecuted. [Bowling Green
Daily News-AP, 5-3-96]

* Leonard Ruckman, 40, was arrested in Stotts City, Mo., in
June and charged with assault outside a bar following a dispute
over car keys.  In a fit of pique, Ruckman allegedly slashed open
a female acquaintance's breast and removed her implants. [Joplin
Globe, 6-17-96]

* The Winston-Salem (N. C.) Journal reported in April that
private security officer David Anderson Jones, 51, who is fully
certified by the state to be capable of physical work such as
breaking through barriers and crawling in confined spaces,
among other physical tasks, was granted a handicaped parking
permit by another state office because of a sinus problem.
[Winston-Salem Journal, Apr96]

* The Broome, Australia, town council recently required that the
camels that carry tourists on commercial nighttime rides along
Cable Beach be outfitted with flashing, battery-operated taillights,
according to a July Associated Press story. [Sikeston (Mo.)
Standard-Democrat-AP, 7-10-96]

CLICHES COME TO LIFE
* An entire 86-member jury pool for a criminal case in
Centerville, Tenn. (population 16,000), in July had to be
dismissed because, according to prosecutor Ron Davis, too many
members of the pool were related to each other. [Columbia,
Tenn., Daily Herald, 7-17-96]

* Jim Baen, publisher of Newt Gingrich's novel 1945, told
reporters in August that almost 100,000 copies are stockpiled in a
warehouse in Bristol, Pa., and that if they are not bought soon,
they will suffer the usual fate of surplus books--to be converted
to pulp and used for such things as toilet paper. [Albuquerque
Journal, 8-3-96]

* Davenport, Iowa, police arrested a 34-year-old man in April
and charged him with indecent exposure along a busy city street.
The police were alerted by two women in a car who said they
first spotted the man, then drove by again to confirm what they
had seen. [Rock Island Argus, 4-27-96]

* In the Journal of Abnormal Psychology released in August, a
University of Georgia researcher concluded that a group of
homophobic men (men who feared and hated homosexuals and
dreaded being close to them) contained twice as many men who
were sexually aroused by erotic photos of men as did an equal
group of nonhomophobic men. [Albuquerque Journal-Knight-
Ridder News Service, 8-1-96]

LEAST JUSTIFIABLE HOMICIDES
* In July, college president John Upton was arrested in Allegan,
Mich., for murdering his wife, allegedly because, he said, "She
was demanding a great number of things that weren't feasible."
And in June, Ross Horton admitted at his trial in Honolulu,
Hawaii, that he killed his business partner in 1993 after the man
criticized his ability to lay tile, which Horton takes seriously as
"an art form."  On the same day, according to police in Sauk
Centre, Minn., Paul Crawford shot four neighbors and himself to
death to culminate a feud over a five-foot strip of land that
separates their properties. [Newport News Daily Press-AP, 7-13-
96] [Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 6-21-96] [San Jose Mercury News-
AP, 6-22-96]

* Three fishless bass-fishing tournaments were held last winter
with anglers casting lines into indoor swimming pools and a
computer determining whether the bait had struck water where a
fish was.  Dave Beuckman, publisher of a tournament fishing
magazine, held the contests in Kansas City, Mo., Louisville,
Ky., and Collinsville, Ill., stocking "lakes" with thousands of
imaginary fish of varying sizes.  After the anglers finished their
turns, said Beuckman, they still "talk[ed] about the fish that got
away." [Belleville News-Democrat, 3-14-96]

CAN'T POSSIBLY BE TRUE
* In July, the Hanover Park, Ill., Village Board raised everyone's
property taxes 5 per cent for the next 15 years solely to pay off a
$7.2 million judgment against the village for a 1988 traffic
accident.  Driver Thomas Redlin was injured by an abutment on
the road that he said should have carried a warning sign, and he
won his lawsuit despite the fact that he did not have a proper
license and had been drinking. [Chicago Tribune, 7-13-96]

* The owner of MIT Tank Wash, Inc., of Savannah, Ga.,
pleaded guilty in June to willful violation of an Occupational
Safety and Health Administration regulation in the death of an
employee.  The company cleans truck-based tanks of their
chemical or food cargo residues, and apparently the company's
normal procedure for using one poisonous cleaning substance was
merely that the employee would enter the tank, swab the insides
with the poisonous cleaner while holding his breath, climb a
ladder to the top of the tank, and take a gulp of fresh air before
descending again for more cleaning. [OSHA Week, 6-24-96]

* A University of Michigan School of Nursing study, published
in June, reported that almost half of fifth-graders at two low-
income schools in Milwaukee, Wis., reported having had sexual
intercourse, compared to 6 per cent who smoked cigarettes and 3
per cent who drank alcoholic beverages. [Detroit Free Press, 5-
21-96]

COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS
* Pedophile Rights:  In April, inmate John Gay filed a lawsuit
against the Oskaloosa County (Fla.) Correctional Institution to
recover about 100 sexually explicit photos of young boys
confiscated from him; he claims that he needs them to prepare his
appeal.  And Robert H. Ellison, 65, of Chicago, arrested in the
May FBI "Overseas Male" sting, asked a judge for the prompt
return of his child sex videos because he feared he would molest
more children if he could not relieve his urges through
pornography.  (The judge accomplished the same goal by jailing
Ellison without bond.) [Northwest Florida Daily News, 4-15-96,
5-7-96] [Tuscaloosa News-AP, 5-10-96]

* In April in Providence, R. I., Anthony "The Saint" St.
Laurent, Sr., pleaded guilty to an organized-crime charge and
took a 10-month prison sentence.  He said he pled guilty only
because an intestinal illness would have made it impractical for
him to sit through a lengthy trial:  "How can I go to trial with
[the 40-50 daily] enemas I got to take?" [Providence Journal-
Bulletin, 4-22-96]

* Kentucky Ku Klux Klan leader and grandmother Velma Seats,
asked by a New Yorker writer for a March story why she wasn't
wearing her robe that day:  "We've had a lot of events lately,"
she said.  "The cleaning bills will kill you." [The New Yorker,
Mar96]

* In February, escaped Tennessee inmate James Sean Stuart, 30,
was captured on Interstate 65 near Athens, Ala., after leading
dozens of police officers at speeds up to 155 mph.  Stuart told
police he had wanted to turn himself in and was driving fast
because he "wanted to get far enough ahead so there wouldn't be
any question" that he was giving up on his own. [Tuscaloosa
News-AP, 2-15-96]

ANIMAL WEIRDNESS
* Rosevelt and Linda Matthews of New Bern, N. C., credit their
dog Roc with awakening them by ringing the doorbell at 4 a.m.
after lightning started a fire in their house in June.  (Roc had not
been trained to do it, but the couple said he had rung the doorbell
once before.)  And Tipper, a cat belonging to Gail Curtis of
Tampa, Fla., was rescued in July while choking on his flea collar
when, in the struggle, he knocked a telephone off a table and
accidentally hit the speed-dial button for 911. [New Bern Sun
Journal, 6-26-96] [Sikeston (Mo.) Standard-Democrat-AP, 7-11-
96]

* Out of Control: The newspaper feature Earthwatch reported in
July that Brazilian angler Nathon do Nascimento choked to death
on the Maguari River when a six-inch-long fish jumped into his
mouth while he was yawning.  And aircraft were grounded for
three hours one day in July at the airport in Vaernes, Norway,
because a queen bee had landed there, drawing about 25,000 bees
with her.  And power outages were reported in Toledo, Ohio, in
June (millions of mayflies smothering a power plant),
Spotsylvania County, Va., in July (black snake short-circuiting a
power line); and Charlottesville, Va., in July (iguana on a power
line). [Portland Press Herald-Earthwatch, 7-7-96] [Columbus
Dispatch, Jul96] [AP wirecopy, 6-25-96; Fairfax Journal-AP, 7-
17-96; Washington Post, 7-19-96]

NO LONGER WEIRD
* Adding to the list of stories that were formerly weird but which
now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from
circulation: (3) the robber who having taken out a piece of
identification to distract the clerk, grabs the money but forgets to
take back the ID, as an Evansville, Ind., liquor store robber did
in July after presenting his driver's license as proof of age.  And
(4) the mass march or ceremony for peace and brotherhood which
erupts into violence, as did a concert for peace, unity, and voter
registration in New York City in June. [Paducah Sun-AP, 7-14-
96] [Washington Times, 6-28-96]

*The little town of Fishkill, NY rejected a request by an animal rights group
to change the name of the town to "Fishsave." The town's name is Dutch and
means "fish creek." People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals knew what the
name meant but felt that some people might think it referred to the slaughter
of animals. "People in California, for instance," suggested PETA's Davey
Shepherd. "It might well be dead fish to them." [Reuters]

*Wanda Webb Holloway hired a hit man to kill another woman so that Wanda's
daughter could make it onto the junior high cheerleading squad. Holloway
wanted to kill the mother of another cheerleader in hopes that the girl would
be so upset that she would leave the squad, opening up a slot for Holloway's
daughter. Holloway, who offered a pair of diamond earrings as payment, has
been sentenced to fifteen years in prison. Her daughter did not make the
squad.  [AP]

*From the January 19, 1996 issue of the Austin _Chronicle_:
  Last week's _Chronicle_ erroneously reported that
  Eric Mitchell [member of the Austin City Council] had
  shouted "Up yours" to residents of the Swede Hill
  neighborhood at a Housing Subcommittee meeting last
  year.  In fact, Mitchell leveled a "Screw You!" to
  the residents.  The _Chronicle_ regrets the error.

*A male elementary school principal from Beckley, W.Va. has pleaded guilty to
soliciting a prostitute while he was dressed as a woman. Cross-dressing
educator George Meadows, 55, received a $550 fine and a suspended sentence
and has resigned as principal of the Sylvia Elementary School.  [Reuters]

 YES, BUT IS IT ART?
*Austrian inventor Karl Machhamer has introduced his
latest invention, the "liquid condom". The latex condom is applied
wet, with a paintbrush, and must be left to dry for seven minutes
before it can be used. Machhamer says people who can't wait can hurry
the process with a blow dryer. The rubber is available in black, grey
and blue, and with a lemon or rum scent. "Everyone has a right to his
personal sculpture," Machhamer said. [Reuters] ...OK, but how do you
take it off?
 
*Lafayette, La., City Marshal Earl Picard joined
parish deputies in a parade to mark the observance of "Crime Night
Out", calling attention to the need of citizens to participate in
crime fighting. They were slowly driving through the streets in their
patrol cars, with their lights flashing and sirens blaring, when
Picard noticed one woman in particular. "She was just smiling and
waving, in front of the last house on the right on Orchid Street,"
Picard said. He recognized her as Annette Duhon -- which was easy for
Picard, since he had issued a "wanted" poster for her just days
before, after she failed to appear to serve a six-month sentence on
assault charges. Deputies turned around and arrested her. [Lafayette
Observer]
 
GUN FUN:
*Police in Sterling Heights, Mich., report that a man who kept a
loaded .38-caliber revolver in his bed managed to roll over on it,
causing it to discharge and shoot him in the penis. "He heard a loud
noise about 1:00 a.m. which woke him up," a police spokesman said.
"All I can say is that's one heckuva way to wake up." The man was
released from a hospital after getting 16 stitches. Meanwhile, a
woman in a Cincinnati bingo parlor went to the restroom. When she
pulled down her pants, a gun "fell out of her underwear, hit the
floor, and discharged," shooting her in the leg, police said. She was
treated and released by a hospital, then arrested for carrying a
concealed weapon. (UPI, AP) ...If you can afford a gun, you should be
able to afford a holster.
 
*Thousand Oaks (Calif.) Sheriff's Sgt. Al
Moussa had to think fast. He had discovered a break-in at a high
school, and his appearance at the scene flushed out three teen-aged
boys, who quickly ran off down the football field. "Here you had
these young kids able to really run and an older officer loaded down
with all his equipment," said sheriff spokesman Dave Paige. Moussa,
38, used to be on the K-9 squad, and knew that people are afraid of
being bitten by police dogs, so he yelled to the kids that he'd sic
his dog on him if they didn't stop. They didn't stop. Since he didn't
actually have a dog, he just started barking himself. "He has a good
bark," Paige said. Upon hearing the "dog" barking, all three boys
quickly surrendered. (L.A. Times) ...The cop's bark is worse than his
bite, but the judge is another matter.
 
 *Two weeks after TWA flight 800 crashed, USAir ordered pilots to turn off
the public telephones in the passenger cabins in case of problems during
flights. "There may be occasions where an in-flight anomaly could
occur where it is desirable to disable the phone system," said an
internal USAir memorandum obtained by the New York Times. "USAir
prefers to furnish press releases for in-flight anomalies instead of
having the information reported live via telephone from the
aircraft!" Embarrassed USAir officials quickly denied the policy was
to reduce the chance of bad publicity. [AP]
 
*"Supermodels Expel Gas Too"   -- AP headline

WELL PUT:
*X-rated film actree Nina Hartley, telling a June new conference in
Sacramento, Calif., that her films serve an important need -- promoting
romance by warming up the viewers:  "It's no different than Hamburger
Helper." [AP]

*The witches have descended on my hometown of Haverhill, MA, and the city
council doesn't appreciate their strange religion. Mr. and Mrs. Dube, local
merchants who are members of the ancient Wicca religion, applied to the
council for a permit for a celebration in a public recreation area on their
holiest night, Samhain, which is our Hallowe'en. After the Dubes assured the
council they did not worship Satan and would not offer blood sacrifices, the
council granted the permit. Later, councillors William Pike and John Curtin
expressed the view that religious freedom was fine for some people, but not
the Wiccans. Curtin, fearing that he might be put under an evil spell, showed
a Boston TV reporter a bulb of garlic he carries with him, "just in case" and
said that he would do what he could to stop the ceremony. [Haverhill Gazette]

HOW'D YOU GET THAT IDEA?
*The New Republic magazine paid $100,000 to settle a libel suit brought by
Jorge Mas Canoza, chairman of the Cuban American National Federation. The
magazine published a picture of Mas on the cover over the headline,
"Clinton's Miami Mobster." The magazine said it "did not intend to imply that
Mr. Mas has been involved in any criminal activity." [Reuters]

*Miami--- Henry Stepney has been arrested 51 times for crimes like burglary,
cocaine possession and assault. He has served scant time for his misdeeds,
dating back to 1975.  Stepney now faces a mandatory 40 year prison term---for
trying to steal 22 rolls of Celeste toilet paper, a high grade ply prefered
by South Florida construction workers. Total value of the rolls : Under $22.
A jury convicted Stepney in 37 minutes. [Miami Herald]

* Abdala ("El Loco") Bucaram was elected president of Ecuador
in July, six years after he briefly fled to Panama to avoid
corruption charges.  In the campaign, Bucaram sang in his own
ads and reminded voters of his tenure as a moralistic police
commissioner of the city of Guayaquil in the 1980s, during which
he sometimes jumped off his motor scooter to rip the skirt hems
loose on women who were showing too much leg.  He downplays
his Hitler-like moustache, blaming it on his incompetence at
shaving. [New York Times, 7-22-96]

* In June, radio station WWAX-FM in the Duluth, Minn.,
suburb of Hermantown began an all-commercials format.  Said
general manager J. Thomas Lijewski, commercials are an "art
form that deserves to be respected."  The station will air vintage
ads, odd local and national ads, and bloopers, in addition to
revenue-producing commercials. [Minneapolis Star Tribune,
Jun96]

* In July in Dadeville, Ala., Mr. Gabel Taylor, 38, who had just
prevailed in an informal Bible-quoting contest, was shot to death
by the loser. [Montgomery Advertiser-AP, 7-19-96]

HE'S IN AISLE 4:
*Satan stalks the Seabrook, NH public library. Librarian Laura Maroon had
engaged a speaker on astrology after some of the young adults had asked her
about it. When Rev. Elizabeth Walton heard about the program, she stormed
into a selectman's meeting and demanded that the library's funding be
eliminated to keep the program from taking place. The selectmen complied and
the dangerous program was cancelled. "It's Satan as far as I''m concerned,"
said Walton. [Boston Globe]

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT
* In an April Associated Press story, Levent Yueksel's and wife
Sherri Kane's 32-seat Dardanelles restaurant in Philadelphia, Pa.,
was profiled, not for its food but for its attitude:  According to a
sign in the window, the restaurant refuses to serve "negative
people" (who are also referred to in the sign as "assholes").  Say
Yueksel and Kane, that includes people who smoke, who are
rude, who demand their food in a hurry, or who want the music
turned down.  The owners say they insist on respect "for the
people who feed you." [Newark Star Ledger-AP, 4-22-96]

OUCH
* Malaysian Gurcharan Singh announced in April that he was
marketing a breakthrough, $40 "disposable circumcision device"
approved by Muslim religious authorities.  It is described as
resembling a corkscrew and is called the Tara Klamp. [Edmonton
Journal, 4-17-96]

* Recently, Budapest, Hungary, novelty shopkeeper Ferenc
Kovacs, 45, introduced condoms that, when unrolled, play one of
two tunes ("Arise, Ye Worker" or "You Sweet Little
Dumbbell").  And Marc Snyder of Oakland, Calif., has marketed
a $3.95 talking condom using similar technology but with
message options ("You turn me on" or "I love you" or "Thank
you for your business").  And a food company executive in
Poland, Dariusz Napierala, announced in May that he will soon
offer a "tourist survival kit" of canned meat, plastic utensils, tea,
and a condom. [Inland Valley Daily Bulletin (Ontario, Calif.)-
AP, 6-16-96] [San Francisco Chronicle, 3-15-96] [AP wirecopy,
5-30-96]

* Frank Fradella of Boynton Beach, Fla., charges $50 for
custom-made, two-page love letters and poetry ("My words . . .
on your lips").  In February, a Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel
reporter found several male customers who praised Fradella's
work even though their women had left them. [Ft. Lauderdale
Sun-Sentinel, 2-14-96]

INEXPLICABLE
* In June, Federal inmate Arthur Morrison, who had served 46
months of his 51-month sentence for threatening former
girlfriends, finally got his wishes to withdraw his guilty plea to
those charges, to go to trial, and to be his own lawyer.  New
York City prosecutors said their evidence (including audiotapes)
is still overwhelming and that they would seek a sentence of at
least 15 years.  Morrison acknowledged that his chances of
prevailing at trial were slim. [New York Times, 6-18-96]

DUMB ASS
* Earlier this year, Michael J. Lewis, Sr., serving time in
Missouri for a gas station robbery, called the county attorney's
office just out of curiosity, to find out why he had never been
prosecuted for a 1993 bank robbery with which he had been
charged.  The prosecutor discovered that that file had been
misplaced and that only a few months remained to bring Lewis to
trial before the statute of limitations would run out.  In June,
Lewis, already serving 10 years, plea-bargained to another 10.
[St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 6-14-96]

* Last year, at a reception for the African/African-American
Summit, Inc., conference in Senegal (a conference attended by
Jesse Jackson and the late Ron Brown), the Club Med Senegal
resort staged a skit in which two white staff members appeared in
blackface, with white lips, garish clothes, and white gloves to
perform a musical number, and a riot nearly ensued.  (In May
1996, offended organizations and individuals filed a $5 million
lawsuit against Club Med in New York City.) [New Orleans
Times-Picayune-New York Times, 5-12-96]

* In March in North Adams, Mass., on a public-access cable TV
program about papier-mache masks, Ms. Royce Patton, 28,
abruptly changed the subject and accused a former neighbor of
allowing two of her kids to have sex.  Patton named the family,
ran a video of all of the woman's seven children, and used
obscenities in describing them.  The former neighbor said the
dispute with Patton was really over loans of money and a bottle
of suntan lotion. [Columbia Tribune-AP, 4-3-96]

* In April, a 17-year-old boy drowned in the indoor pool at the
Henry VIII Hotel in a suburb of St. Louis, Mo.  The boy had
jumped in with several others, but no one noticed that he had
gone under because the pool's water was so murky that visibility
was only three to four feet. [Columbia Tribune-AP, 4-8-96]

WELL-PUT
* A senior aide to Liberian factional leader Charles Taylor,
explaining to the New York Times in April why this year's civil
war is more civil than earlier ones:  "In the past, fighters would
rip out people's intestines and use them to string up roadblocks.
This time there has been none of that." [New York Times, 4-30-
96]


* Willie King, 37, was arrested moments after he had allegedly
mugged a 94-year-old woman in a housecoat just outside her
front door in New York's Greenwich Village in July.  The
woman is the mother of Vincent "Chin" Gigante, the reputed
godfather of the Genovese crime family. [New York Post, 7-22-96]
(As this issue of "News of the Weird" goes to press, King is still
alive...but we don't think for too long)

* According to a report in The People newspaper in London in
July, British spies who set up high-tech clandestine cameras to
gain intelligence on the Irish Republican Army discovered that
the cameras also recorded much kinky sex.  The newspaper said
the British government is planning to use some sex scenes,
including episodes in which IRA leaders have sex with the wives
of their jailed comrades, in an upcoming propaganda campaign.
[New York Post, 7-8-96]

KIDS LACKING "QUALITY TIME"
*Brian Smith, 42, was charged in Cassville, Mo., in July with
locking his three kids in 55-gallon drums during the day while he
was at work.  And Jeffrey Hoveland, 50, pleaded guilty in St.
Paul, Minn., in July to using an electrified dog collar to punish his
two sons, ages 9 and 11.  And Jan and Joyce Duplantis were
arrested in New Orleans in June and charged with forcing their two
female wards, ages 8 and 9, to live outside in a crude playhouse
so as not to mess up their apartment. [Tampa Tribune-AP, 7-5-96]
[Youngstown Vindicator-AP, 5-29-96] [Albuquerque Journal, 6-27-96]

THE CONTINUING CRISIS
* In June, the Houston, Tex., Health and Human Services
Department warned of a local diarrhea outbreak caused by
cyclospora.  The department said two clusters of cases had been
reported, the first among a group of executives of the natural gas
industry meeting at a local club. [Houston Chronicle, 6-6-96]

* In June, the Arkansas State Medical Board ordered Waldo,
Ark., family physician Jewel Byron Grimmett, Jr., to start
keeping written records.  At a hearing, Grimmett told board
members that he has kept all patient histories, including
prescription records, only in his head for the 35 years he has
been practicing medicine.  Grimmett avoided license revocation
because he is Waldo's only doctor and because, according to
him, he treats about half his patients for free. [Arkansas
Democrat-Gazette, 6-8-96]

* In March, after the parents of Huang Pin-jen, 27, and Chang
Shu-mei, 26, of Kaohsiung, Taiwan, refused to bless their
wedding, the couple opted for suicide.  They drove a car off a
cliff (but survived), tried to hang themselves (but survived), and
leaped from atop a 12-story building (but survived, landing on an
adjacent roof, suffering multiple fractures).  In April, the parents
reconsidered. [New Haven Register-AP, 4-24-96]

LOVIN THE U.S.AAAAAAAAAA:
* On May 23, the bodies of two Dominican Republic nationals
were discovered, one near JFK Airport in Long Beach, N. Y.,
and the other about 10 miles from Miami (Fla.) International
Airport.  Both had grease marks, and after investigations, police
in both places said they believed the men had fallen from the
wheelwells of airliners, where they had stowed away hoping for
illegal entry into the U. S. [AP wirecopy, 5-24-96]

MISUNDERSTANDING THE JOB DESCRIPTION:
*Fifteen New York City police officers were indicted in July and
as many as 700 other city employees are under investigation for
not paying federal taxes.  The cops had bought fake-legal-
gibberish documents (for $900-$2,000 each) from scam artists
who had convinced them that, despite the fact that they were
police officers, they could legally claim not to be subject to
government jurisdiction.  (In the document, the officers were
"non-immigrant non-residents" who are "alien to the United
States.")  In each case, the City payroll office unquestioningly
accepted the form and did not withhold federal tax, in some cases
for up to four years. [New York Daily News, 7-18-96]

LEAST COMPETENT PEOPLE
* Oslo, Norway, police inspector Leif Ole Topnes admitted in
July that "our body-search techniques aren't good enough."  He
was commenting on a male prisoner's having been locked up for
two weeks in the women's jail despite having been "body-
searched" at the Sola Airport and then "strip-searched" at the jail.
The man was wearing female makeup and had hormone-treatment
breasts, but Topnes admitted that otherwise he was obviously a
man and should have been detected as such. [New Haven
Register-AP, 7-19-96]

* Jeffrey J. Pyrcioch, 19, and an alleged accomplice were
arrested in West Lafayette, Ind., in May on theft and fraud
charges.  Pyrcioch allegedly cashed checks that he had written
with disappearing ink, apparently believing the checks would be
blank by the time they were presented to the bank for collection.
However, traces of ink remained, and police said Pyrcioch would
have a better chance of getting away with it if he had not used
checks pre-printed with his name and account number on them.
[Washington Post, 6-2-96]

* In April, Edward Lopez, 19, and Eric Harb, 18, were arrested
in Lincolnwood, Ill., after police were called to a Summit
department store.  According to a clerk, the two men had
approached him and asked politely if he would permit them to
pay for clothes with a stolen credit card. [Skokie Life, Apr96]

* Columbus, Ohio, police arrested Timothy E. Lebo, 39, and
Charles J. Kinser, 32, around 5 a.m. on June 5 and charged them
with ripping an ATM out of a bank's wall and attempting to
carry it away in the trunk of their car.  When questioned by
police, the pair tried to convince officers that the ATM was a
washing machine. [Columbus Dispatch, 6-6-96]

* In March, in Clawson, Mich., and in January, in Federal Way,
Wash., parents mistakenly packed cans of Bud Ice beer in their
elementary schoolchildren's lunchboxes.  They said they
confused the Bud Ice with a Hawaiian Punch can (Clawson) and a
holiday can of Pepsi (Federal Way). [Edmonton Sun, 3-30-96]

THE WEIRDO-AMERICAN COMMUNITY
* Ms. Terry Klemann, 42, received several traffic citations and
was ticketed for filing a false report after her car rammed two
pickup trucks in Belleville, Ill., in July.  An apparently-serious
Klemann steadfastly maintained that her cocker spaniel Mutzie 2
had gotten behind the wheel and maneuvered the car into the
trucks.  Later, she told the Belleville News-Democrat that several
years ago the original Mutzie had driven Klemann's friend's car
into a tree in New York City. [Belleville News-Democrat, 7-22-
96]

*The mad militia bombers' answer to the million man march fizzled. A protest
in Washington D.C., featuring several militia groups, drew only about 100
people scattered on the mall near the Capitol. Organizer Joseph Corey told
the group, "I just got a call, and people are stuck in traffic." [AP]

*Miami--- Henry Stepney has been arrested 51 times for crimes like burglary,
cocaine possession and assault. He has served scant time for his misdeeds,
dating back to 1975.  Stepney now faces a mandatory 40 year prison term---for

trying to steal 22 rolls of Celeste toilet paper, a high grade ply prefered
by South
Florida construction workers. Total value of the rolls : Under $22.
A jury convicted Stepney in 37 minutes. [Miami Herald]

* Abdala ("El Loco") Bucaram was elected president of Ecuador
in July, six years after he briefly fled to Panama to avoid
corruption charges.  In the campaign, Bucaram sang in his own
ads and reminded voters of his tenure as a moralistic police
commissioner of the city of Guayaquil in the 1980s, during which
he sometimes jumped off his motor scooter to rip the skirt hems
loose on women who were showing too much leg.  He downplays
his Hitler-like moustache, blaming it on his incompetence at
shaving. [New York Times, 7-22-96]

* In June, radio station WWAX-FM in the Duluth, Minn.,
suburb of Hermantown began an all-commercials format.  Said
general manager J. Thomas Lijewski, commercials are an "art
form that deserves to be respected."  The station will air vintage
ads, odd local and national ads, and bloopers, in addition to
revenue-producing commercials. [Minneapolis Star Tribune,
Jun96]

* In July in Dadeville, Ala., Mr. Gabel Taylor, 38, who had just
prevailed in an informal Bible-quoting contest, was shot to death
by the loser. [Montgomery Advertiser-AP, 7-19-96]

HE'S IN AISLE 4:
*Satan stalks the Seabrook, NH public library. Librarian Laura Maroon had
engaged a speaker on astrology after some of the young adults had asked her
about it. When Rev. Elizabeth Walton heard about the program, she stormed
into a selectman's meeting and demanded that the library's funding be
eliminated to keep the program from taking place. The selectmen complied and
the dangerous program was cancelled. "It's Satan as far as I''m concerned,"
said Walton. [Boston Globe]

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT
* In an April Associated Press story, Levent Yueksel's and wife
Sherri Kane's 32-seat Dardanelles restaurant in Philadelphia, Pa.,
was profiled, not for its food but for its attitude:  According to a
sign in the window, the restaurant refuses to serve "negative
people" (who are also referred to in the sign as "assholes").  Say
Yueksel and Kane, that includes people who smoke, who are
rude, who demand their food in a hurry, or who want the music
turned down.  The owners say they insist on respect "for the
people who feed you." [Newark Star Ledger-AP, 4-22-96]

OUCH
* Malaysian Gurcharan Singh announced in April that he was
marketing a breakthrough, $40 "disposable circumcision device"
approved by Muslim religious authorities.  It is described as
resembling a corkscrew and is called the Tara Klamp. [Edmonton
Journal, 4-17-96]

* Recently, Budapest, Hungary, novelty shopkeeper Ferenc
Kovacs, 45, introduced condoms that, when unrolled, play one of
two tunes ("Arise, Ye Worker" or "You Sweet Little
Dumbbell").  And Marc Snyder of Oakland, Calif., has marketed
a $3.95 talking condom using similar technology but with
message options ("You turn me on" or "I love you" or "Thank
you for your business").  And a food company executive in
Poland, Dariusz Napierala, announced in May that he will soon
offer a "tourist survival kit" of canned meat, plastic utensils, tea,
and a condom. [Inland Valley Daily Bulletin (Ontario, Calif.)-
AP, 6-16-96] [San Francisco Chronicle, 3-15-96] [AP wirecopy,
5-30-96]

* Frank Fradella of Boynton Beach, Fla., charges $50 for
custom-made, two-page love letters and poetry ("My words . . .
on your lips").  In February, a Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel
reporter found several male customers who praised Fradella's
work even though their women had left them. [Ft. Lauderdale
Sun-Sentinel, 2-14-96]

INEXPLICABLE
* In June, Federal inmate Arthur Morrison, who had served 46
months of his 51-month sentence for threatening former
girlfriends, finally got his wishes to withdraw his guilty plea to
those charges, to go to trial, and to be his own lawyer.  New
York City prosecutors said their evidence (including audiotapes)
is still overwhelming and that they would seek a sentence of at
least 15 years.  Morrison acknowledged that his chances of
prevailing at trial were slim. [New York Times, 6-18-96]

DUMB ASS
* Earlier this year, Michael J. Lewis, Sr., serving time in
Missouri for a gas station robbery, called the county attorney's
office just out of curiosity, to find out why he had never been
prosecuted for a 1993 bank robbery with which he had been
charged.  The prosecutor discovered that that file had been
misplaced and that only a few months remained to bring Lewis to
trial before the statute of limitations would run out.  In June,
Lewis, already serving 10 years, plea-bargained to another 10.
[St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 6-14-96]

* Last year, at a reception for the African/African-American
Summit, Inc., conference in Senegal (a conference attended by
Jesse Jackson and the late Ron Brown), the Club Med Senegal
resort staged a skit in which two white staff members appeared in
blackface, with white lips, garish clothes, and white gloves to
perform a musical number, and a riot nearly ensued.  (In May
1996, offended organizations and individuals filed a $5 million
lawsuit against Club Med in New York City.) [New Orleans
Times-Picayune-New York Times, 5-12-96]

* In March in North Adams, Mass., on a public-access cable TV
program about papier-mache masks, Ms. Royce Patton, 28,
abruptly changed the subject and accused a former neighbor of
allowing two of her kids to have sex.  Patton named the family,
ran a video of all of the woman's seven children, and used
obscenities in describing them.  The former neighbor said the
dispute with Patton was really over loans of money and a bottle
of suntan lotion. [Columbia Tribune-AP, 4-3-96]

* In April, a 17-year-old boy drowned in the indoor pool at the
Henry VIII Hotel in a suburb of St. Louis, Mo.  The boy had
jumped in with several others, but no one noticed that he had
gone under because the pool's water was so murky that visibility
was only three to four feet. [Columbia Tribune-AP, 4-8-96]

WELL-PUT
* A senior aide to Liberian factional leader Charles Taylor,
explaining to the New York Times in April why this year's civil
war is more civil than earlier ones:  "In the past, fighters would
rip out people's intestines and use them to string up roadblocks.
This time there has been none of that." [New York Times, 4-30-
96]

LEAD WEIRDO:
* In his recent book, Cosmic Voyage, Courtney Brown, a young,
tenured political science professor at Emory University in
Atlanta, Ga., claims he has used the technique of "remote
viewing" to travel visually through space and time, to observe
another galaxy, and to talk with Jesus.  Brown, pointing to his
impressive resume (which includes a stint at the Jimmy Carter
Center), defends his work against skeptics:  "I'd be crazy if I
went public with something like this without being certain about
what's going on."  Since he believes there is a Martian
civilization in New Mexico, he admits that if NASA's probe of
Mars next year contradicts him, "I'd be dead as an academic."
[Kansas City Star, 6-18-96]

*SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - A Delta Center usher who claims Dennis Rodman
humiliated her by pinching her on the buttocks during an NBA game.  Lavon
Ankers alleges Rodman chased a loose ball out of bounds on May 5, 1994,
then pinched her while returning to the court during a game between the Utah
Jazz and the San Antonio Spurs, for whom he was playing at the time. The
alleged incident occured more than 2 years prior to her suit.  ``The
touching and pinching was witnessed by bystanders and spectators,'' according

to the civil suit filed last week in U.S. District Court. The suit also
states that a
local television broadcast of the game shows Rodman walking past Ankers,
turning around and ``apparently touching her on the backside.''   Ankers
``was
and continues to be greatly humiliated, shamed, embarrassed; and endured
great mental suffering,'' according to the suit. She has filed suit
seeking $750,000 in damages. [AP]

*ANDREAS, Pa. (AP) -- Workers repairing a stretch of roadway paved straight
over a dead deer that one official says was hard to miss.  A gooey spread of
oil and rocks covers the deer's head, neck and shoulders along Route 895.
"The deer was lying there dead for three to four weeks," said Keith Billig,
mayor of nearby Bowmanstown, about 65 miles northwest of Philadelphia. "I
never saw anything like that before in my life."  It is against state policy
to
pave over a deer, said Walter Bortree, a Pennsylvania Department of
Transportation engineer.   "We do not routinely oil and chip over deer kill,"

Bortree said. "If in fact the deer was in the work area, it should have been
removed before the work was done."  Bortree said the private contractor that
did the work for the state probably missed seeing the deer because it was on
the edge of the road.  But Billig said the animal is in plain view. "You
can't miss
it," he said. "It's in a straightaway. If they couldn't see it, then they
can't see
the numbers on their checks either." [AP]

*A bride's mother is charged with kidnapping a justice of the peace, who was
officiating at her daughter's wedding. Kimberly Scanlon and David Parente had
intended to tie the knot in a small ceremony in New Hampshire, but the
bride's parents had already rented a hall in Pawtucket, R.I. and invited
guests, so the couple decided to stage a mock wedding there as well. They
didn't bother to get a marriage license for this trial run, and Kathleen
Fraher, the justice of the peace, refused to celebrate the wedding without a
license. When she tried to leave, the bride's mother shouted, "Find out which
car is hers and block her in." The diminutive JP fled. "I was afraid for my
life," she said. "I'm tiny, about 5'4", and let's just say that Mrs. Scanlon
was slightly bigger than that." Fraher called the police, who arrested the
bride and her mother at the reception in full view of the 150 guests. After
the mother was booked and released, the band played Jailhouse Rock in her
honor. Said the bride, "She's just the strongest mother."  [Boston Globe]

*A Chicago judge sent a 12-year-old girl to jail because she wouldn't visit
her father. Judge Ludwig Kahar had ordered Heidi Nussbaum to spend a few
weeks every summer with their father, but Heidi refused and told the judge
she would "pitch a fit" if he tried to force her to see her dad. She and her
eight-year-old sister said that their father spanked them for no reason, kept
them up all night, and said their mother was evil. The judge, apparently
unpersuaded by the threat of a fit, had the girl shackled and sent to a
detention center, where she spent the night. Heidi appealed, but the higher
court said Judge Kahar had the right to send her to the slammer.
[Marshall v. Nussbaum]

*In a close play at home plate in a Texas softball game, Martin Davis bowled
over Kenneth Greer, who was trying to make the tag. Greer sued Davis for
negligence, and the court said he had a case. Under Texas law, an athlete
doesn't automatically assume the risk that he may be injured during a game,
said the court, especially if the other player is reckless. [Greer v. Davis]

*A 28-year-old woman has been convicted of rape for having sex with a
fifteen-year-old boy. Kerri Lynn Patavino of Bridgeport, CT met the boy when
she was driving his bus to school. The two had sex about four times a week,
the boy said, but he broke off the relationship when Patavino started to do
"weird" things, like cutting herself with razor blades during sex and asking
him to lick the blood. [AP]

* At Thailand's national games in June, to select those who will
represent the country in the Olympic games, the men's volleyball
gold medal was won by a squad of 12 transsexuals from Northern
Lampang province who have grown breasts and who dress as
women but who have not yet had genital surgery.  Despite the
gold medal, none of the players was selected for the Olympic
team. [Reuters wirecopy, 6-29-96]

* In June, firefighters in El Cajon, Calif., had to rescue Heather
Jaehn, 25, who had locked herself out of her house and then had
gotten stuck in the chimney trying to climb in.  Four days later,
Felix Rivera, 33, got stuck in a rooftop vent while allegedly
burglarizing a San Antonio, Tex., convenience store to get a beer
and had to be rescued by firefighters before police could arrest
him. [San Diego Union Tribune, 6-18-96] [San Antonio Express-
News, 6-22-96]

* Latest Dysfunctional Family:  In May, the Tennessee Supreme
Court ordered a new trial for Hixson, Tenn., Baptist preacher
Don McCary, who had been sentenced to 72 years in prison for
13 sex offenses against four teenage boys.  His twin brother,
Ron, had been serving time with him at the prison in Pikeville,
Tenn., for raping a 6-year-old boy, and their older brother,
Richard, a former pastor, is still wanted by authorities after
pleading guilty to molesting four boys in the 1980s. [AP
wirecopy, 6-25-96]

POLICE BLOTTER

* From a May crime report in the Huntington, W. Va., Herald-
Dispatch:  A 17-year-old pizzeria employee was arrested for DUI
at night after the store closed, and his boss was charged with
contributing to the delinquency of a minor.  According to the
boss, "[I]t is hard to pay people and I let him drink beer at [the
pizzeria], so that he will work for free." [Huntington Herald-
Dispatch, 5-2-96]

* In June a judge in Anderson, Ind., first set bail at $10,000 for
Virldeen Redmon, 67, who had been arrested for public
intoxication and driving with a suspended license.  However, he
raised the bail to $100,000 when he saw Redmon's record:  He
has been arrested nearly 400 times on alcohol charges since 1947,
had his driver's license suspended 33 times between 1947 and
1976, and had his license suspended "for life" in 1977. [Boston
Sunday Herald-AP, 6-23-96]

* Life Imitates Magazine Ads:  In March, David Lee Smith, 41,
was charged with burglary in North Knoxville, Tenn., after he
broke into a home and demanded milk to drink.  The occupant
complied with the request and then discreetly called the police
from another room.  A few minutes later, officers arrived and
easily distinguished Smith from the occupant, they later said,
because of the ring of milk around Smith's mouth. [Knoxville
News-Sentinel, 3-25-96]

* In June, according to La Vergne, Tenn., police Sgt. Carl
McMillen, a man called 911 to summon officers to his home to
stop his wife from pouring out all of his beer following a
domestic dispute. [Tennessean, Jun96]

THE WEIRDO-AMERICAN COMMUNITY
* In May, Stanford University won the right, over the University
of California at Berkeley, to house the literary legacy of the late
Pulitzer- and Oscar-winning writer William Saroyan, apparently
because it also agreed to take custody of Saroyan's non-literary
property.  Because Saroyan was a compulsive collector, his non-
literary archives include, among other things, hundreds of boxes
of rocks, matchbook covers, old newspapers (numbering in the
thousands), labels peeled off cans, and a plastic bag filled with
about 10,000 rubber bands. [San Francisco Chronicle, 5-23-96]

* In June, a grand jury on Long Island (N. Y.) returned
indictments against three men who allegedly plotted to poison
Suffolk County officials with radioactive substances in their food.
The three men, John J. Ford, Joseph Mazzuchelli, and Edward
Zabo, believe that a UFO crashed on Long Island in 1995 and
was being covered up by the government, and eliminating the
officials would make it easier for the three men to gain power
and expose the crash.  Said district attorney James M. Catterson,
"This all convinces me that there is a side to humanity that defies
definition." [New York Times, 6-22-96]

* In June, the man who has stalked singer Barbara Mandrell for
15 years, Ed Carlson, was convicted of trespassing at Mandrell's
home in Nashville, Tenn., and was given a suspended sentence
provided he returns home to Minnesota.  According to
Mandrell's husband, Carlson has sent the singer such things over
the years as a case of corn flakes, dirty clothes, four bicycles,
and a rusty wrench. [St. Paul Pioneer Press-AP, 6-4-96]

* In May, a Portuguese-American, Dr. Manuel Luciano da Silva
spoke at the Newport (R. I.) Public Library, delivering his 327th
largely-unpersuasive lecture on the reasons why he believes
Portugal discovered America even before Columbus was born.
[Providence Journal-Bulletin, 5-21-96]

* In June a judge in Burbank, Calif., ordered Vincent Paul
Fanelli II to stand trial for raping six prostitutes.  According to
the police, each attack began with Fanelli scolding the woman for
being a prostitute and then spanking her. [Burbank Leader, 6-19-
96]

*Diane McAlister celebrated her wedding in the traditional way--by punching
out several guests and one cop. Police reported to a wedding at the Sheraton
Tara hotel in Braintree, MA to subdue Christopher O'Brien, an unruly guest.
O'Brien refused to be subdued, and other members of the wedding joined in the
fracas, including the bride. McAlister, 36, allegedly punched one of the
officers and several guests, including O'Brien's mother and father. McAlister
and six guests were taken off to jail and charged with assault and battery on
a police officer, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest. [Boston Globe]

*A New York woman shot her husband for leaving her alone while he went
fishing. Gail Murphy, 46, who was bedridden after hemorrhoid surgery,
couldn't stand the sight of her husband traipsing off with a cooler of beer
to spend Sunday afternoon  with his fishing buddies. When he got home, she
shot him. Murphy is feeling much better and is being held without bail. [AP]

*An Italian fire-fighting plane dive-bombed bathers with tens of thousands of
gallons of water. Ten people were injured and several boats capsized when the
plane twice dropped its load from low altitude off the coast of Sardinia.
Organizers of a pageant for the feast of Our Lady of the Shipwrecked had
asked the plane to put on a show, but the crew says it got the coordinates
wrong and doused a nearby beach. [Reuters]

*Hayward, CA officials were delighted at first when the Aqua Avenger started
his crusade to wipe out graffiti in the San Francisco Bay town. A mysterious
person was covering graffiti with bright aqua-blue paint. Then, officials
decided the blue paint was a bid flashy, and appealed through local media for
the avenger to switch to earth tones. When the avenger didn't respond and
kept giving the town the blues, officials asked police to find him and
confiscate his paint. [AP]

* Portland -- When an automatic teller machine wouldn't cough up the cash
after he punched in his code, Domenico Germano tried another approach--he
shot it with his gun. Four times. Germano, 32, pleaded guilty to reckless
conduct
with a firearm. He was ordered to pay $5,433 in repair costs. He has been
prohibited from using alcohol or guns--but is perfectly free to use ATMs.
[AP]

* In March, a Washington state physicians' agency filed charges
of unprofessional conduct against county coroner Dexter Amend
of Spokane, citing among other things his preoccupation against
homosexuality.  (For example, he allegedly halted the cremation
of an AIDS victim to demand an autopsy of the rectum and asked
the mother of a 16-year-old girl shot to death whether the girl had
ever been sodomized by gang members.)  He also routinely lists
as his favorite--though undiagnosed--cause of death, "alcoholic
fatty liver."  And in May, the county coroner in Tacoma, Wash.,
was fired for encouraging his staff to make sexual jokes about
corpses and dead people's sex organs and allowing photographs
of prominent persons' corpses to be circulated around the office.
[New York Times, 3-31-96][Seattle Times, 5-29-96]

DUMB ASS ...
* On June 9, rock climber Reza Zand, 35, had to be rescued by a
volunteer search team on a 300-foot cliff near Castaic, Calif.,
where he got stuck while studying peregrine falcons.  He was
admonished for being poorly prepared and then released.  On
June 13, a fire department search and rescue team was called to
get Zand, once again lacking sufficient rope, down from the very
same spot. [Santa Clarita Signal, 6-11-96, 6-14-96]

* Perhaps the most satisfied customer of penile enlargement
surgery among those interviewed by a Wall Street Journal
reporter for a June story on the phalloplasty business was Los
Angeles print shop entrepreneur Frank Whitehead, who said his
new length and thickness "has changed my whole outlook on
life."  Said Whitehead, "I go out on a limb more than I did
before with business.  Now [when] I go into business meetings,
I'm thinking, 'If you guys had just half of what I have.'" [Wall
Street Journal, 6-6-96]

* Despite appeals by their more-mainstream leaders, about 4,000
Shiite Muslims in Nabatiyeh, Lebanon, slashed their heads with
swords and razors in May in the annual self-flagellation
celebration of the revered 7th century saint Hussein, the grandson
of the Prophet Mohammed. [Springfield (Mo.) News-Leader-AP,
5-28-96]

* In December, shown on a TBS network documentary on
entrepreneurialism in China ("China: The Wild East") were
maidens on horseback dressed in Tang Dynasty costumes and
playing "horse basketball" (which is, of course, conventional
basketball but with players on horseback). [New York Times, 12-
25-95]

* In January, the New York Times profiled physician Rubens
Faria, Jr., the latest in a line of Brazilians who claim to possess
the soul of "Dr. Fritz," an inexplicably meaningful German
physician who died during World War I, and who is said to have
had magical healing powers.  On a typical day, 800 people will
wait up to 14 hours in line for an "office visit" that might last
just 30 seconds. [New York Times, 1-12-96]

* In April, a rabbi in London, England, granted estranged wife
Rachel David a "nidui" in her quest to pressure her husband
Moses David for a divorce.  The "nidui" forbids observant Jews
from speaking to Moses or coming within six yards of him.  So
far, despite the pressure, Moses has refused to grant Rachel a
"get," which means that she cannot have a religious divorce and
that her subsequent children will be regarded as illegitimate.
[Independence (Mo.) Examiner-AP, 4-25-96]
* Ms. Hind Abderrahim Mohamed, 17, was recently raped by a
stranger on the street in Cairo, Egypt.  Under the circumstances,
the man has one chance of avoiding prison:  Under Egyptian law,
he cannot be punished if the victim agrees to marry him, and in
February, she did. [Reuters wirecopy, 2-8-96]

A TAD SEVERE ...
* In April, a court in Hebei province in China found
nightwatchman Qi Minggin, 61, guilty of making 180 long-
distance calls on his employer's telephone and sentenced him to
life in prison. [Reuters wirecopy, 4-26-96]

* Mark Steele, a Massachusetts candidate for the U. S. House, is
on probation for setting a business afire to collect insurance
payments (and as part of his platform lectures voters to take
greater personal responsibility). [Boston Globe-AP, 6-5-96]

* Bill Yellowtail, running for the U. S. House from Montana,
was revealed to have had his Montana state senate pay docked in
the 1980s for child-support payments and to have kept secret his
expulsion from Dartmouth College for burglary convictions.
[Rocky Mountain News-AP, 6-1-96]

* State Sen. Charles Davidson, who had announced for a U. S.
House seat in Alabama, dropped out after flak from a floor
speech in May in which he defended slavery as ordained by God.
[Northwest Florida Daily News, 5-10-96]

* Bill Levinger, challenging Idaho's militia-defending U. S. Rep.
Helen Chenoweth in the primary, appeared on a public-affairs
show TV show in April, stripped down to his underwear, offered
the host $5,000 for a kiss, and played with a toy elephant and
rolls of $100 bills. [Washington Post, 4-22-96]

* The Columbia (Mo.) Tribune reported in May on Curryville,
Mo., Amish farmer Noah Schwartz, whom his wife divorced
outside the faith in 1983 but who refuses to acknowledge that she
is no longer his wife.  While waiting for her to return, Schwartz
files income taxes as "married, filing separately."  He was in jail
at the time of the interview because he refuses to pay child
support. [Columbia Daily Tribune, 5-17-96]

* Engineering professor Valery Fabrikant, serving a life sentence
for shooting to death four colleagues at Concordia University in
Canada in 1992, continues his professional publishing career
from prison.  His latest article, "Complete Solution to the
Problem of an External Circular Crack in a Transversely
Isotropic Body Subjected to Arbitrary Shear Loading," appeared
in a recent issue of the International Journal of Solids and
Structures, and Fabrikant requested that comments be addressed
to him in prison. [Frank magazine (Canada), 4-10-96]