Not available in stores! No, this offer won’t cost you 3 easy payments of $19.95. This offer is available to you for 1 postage stamp, or you can go to JPay.com, register, and send an email directly to me.
So, you’re asking yourself, “what will I get by responding to this ad?” First let me tell you what you won’t be getting! I can’t give you 6 minute abs, I don’t slice or dice, I can’t remove spots from clothing, I can’t reduce fine lines or wrinkles, or make acne disappear, and I don’t whiten teeth. I know you’re thinking “wow, this guy is amazing, he can’t do anything.”
Hey, you can’t expect me to do any of the above for one letter.? However, if you decide to respond to my ad I can offer friendship, laughter, and you can see how much better your life is than mine. You’re starting to feel better already, aren’t you?
Just kidding; prison is great! Where else can you share 4 toilets and 4 showers with 88 other people. It’s like cruise without the ocean or fancy drinks. Did I mention I could be sarcastic at times?
If you’re not completely satisfied with our correspondence, good news, at least you don’t waste 3 easy payments of $19.95
We’ve all seen those infomercials promising a quick fix to our problems. At times we all want to believe there’s a quick fix to our problems, never reading the fine print that explains “these aren’t typical results.” We all have problems and we’ve all made our share of mistakes, but that doesn’t define us forever.
All I’m asking for is friendship. If you’re having a bad day I hope you at least get a smile from reading this ad, or you can respond to find out how I got a dog to take a picture with me.
I love sports, dogs, exercise, and writing. I’m 6’2″, 192 lbs., 45 years old in decent shape. You never know where you’ll find a friend; take a few minutes to respond.