The Continuing Saga of:
”ICICLE BILL and Tommy Two-Head”

Chapter Fourteen: Aftermath

    Las Vegas Major Crimes Detective Smith, had a wife, four kids, two mortgages, a mistress, and a bad case of heartburn. The Chief was breathing down his neck after one of his patrol officers nearly got killed last night while responding to an apparent high speed chase. He needed answers and he needed them quick. ”Pederman! Pearson! Get in here!” The junior detectives rushed through the office door. ”What we got on that incident on the eastside?”

    ”Well boss,” Pederman began, ”We got a John Doe suspect ramming a patrol car in an apparent suicide or escape attempt, as officers responded to reports of a high speed chase involving three vehicles through residential neighborhoods that culminated in a possible armed confrontation among the suspects. All other individuals and vehicles are unaccounted for.”

    Pearson chimed in. ”The John Doe assailant vehicle is registered out of Downey, California. That’s southeast L.A.”

    Pederman adds, ”You know, that’s where the first McDonald’s is.”

    Pearson says, ”Well, actually, it’s not really their first restaurant. Their first one was back east somewhere, and it wasn’t called McDonald’s.”

    Pederman adds, ”Well if it wasn’t called McDonald’s, then the one in Downey would be the first McDonald’s, right?”

    Pearson hesitated, ”Did you know the first Ronald McDonald was a woman?”

    Pederman was skeptical. ”Are you sure? I heard he was a gay.”

    Pearson: ”Wasn’t it the Krocs who owned the Chargers first?”

    Pederman: ”No, I think it was that cowboy actor guy, the one that owned the baseball Angels.” This lead to a heated discussion of who owned what, when.

    Detective Smith’s patience was waning. These two college grad whiteboy geniuses were getting on his nerves. Even though he genuinely liked them both and despite of their lack of street cop background or experience, he realized chances were they’d both be promoted over him in half the time it took him to reach this level. Hell with it, he thought. Five more years clean and he could retire with full pension and the White folks would have to solve their own problems. But for now he had to make sure the sensitive cases, the high profile ones, like attempted murder on a police officer, were solved.

    Pederman and Pearson were continuing their discussion. ”Are you sure the Krocs owned the Chargers? I really think you’re wrong on that one...”

    ”HEY!” Smith had had it. ”I don’t give a damn where the first McDonald’s was. Or Wendy’s, or Burger King. I don’t give a flying f - – – if Ronald McDonald is a woman, or gay, or both!” We got eyewitnesses describing suspects including possible gang members in an early 60’s Chevy low-rider, blue in color. We got reports of seeing an emaciated, ghost-like male perp, accompanying our John Doe, and a topless female, early twenties, sporting a leopard print bikini bottom, fishnet stockings and high-heels in a Silver BMW. All of ’em armed and still missing.”

    ”Now, I don’t know how many souped-up blue gang-banger low-riders there are in Las Vegas, or how many topless, leopard print bikini wearing gun-toting phantoms driving BMW’s there are running around out there. But I’m guessing not that many. Now get the hell out of here and find me some suspects!”

    The room got quiet. Nobody was moving. ”NOW!!” Pederman and Pearson dashed for the door. ”And oh, Pederman, bring me a couple of Big Macs before you do anything.” All that McDonald’s talk had gotten Smith hungry.

* * * *

    Across town, G Lu pulled the Beemer into the garage of the tiny, rented one-bedroom single-family house that she shared with her pampered Pomeranian, Patty Cakes. She’d been so proud of herself for being able to strike out on her own. No parents or family helping to support her, no sugar daddy or boyfriends to rely on. She’d finally managed a comfortable degree of independence, all on her own. But now, the debris of her life lay in a shambles. A second brother lost to a violent world. The allure of the lifestyle he’d chosen in an attempt to escape the degradation of poverty was an illusion. The fast life of drugs, money, girls, camaraderie...was nothing but a fast track to nowhere. Like a dog chasing cars. Catch them or get too close, they’ll kill you. And what of her own dreams? To be a model or actress, somebody that everyone would see and admire. To make her mama proud, to lift up her family, to see the smile on her brother’s face. All of that was gone. Taking off her clothes for dollars was as far from where she thought her dreams would take her as she could fall. G Lu eyed the gun on the car seat. She wiped the tears from her face and brushed her hair one final time. She slid the cold metal barrel into her mouth and pulled the trigger.

* * * *

    Back at LVPD, Officer Pederman knocked on Detective Smith’s office door. ”Hey boss, prints on that John Doe came back. The guy’s wanted for questioning in a triple murder in Miami.

    Smith looked up from his paperwork. ”What else you got?”

    ”Get this, the car’s registered to an Elena Chang. And here’s the interesting part, she’s an ADA for L.A. County.”

    Smith was interested. ”Why’s a guy who’s on the lamb, who’s apparently homicidal and/or suicidal, driving a car that’s registered to an Associate District Attorney. Is it stolen?”

    ”Not reported stolen. But get this, the ADA, she’s been missing for a couple of weeks now. Nobody’s seen her. She just disappeared.”

    Detective Smith scratched his head. He wanted to go home, have a beer or six and put his feet up. He wanted some quiet time, he wanted to go visit his mistress, Belinda Butluggage. Those were the things he wanted, what he got was a pain in the ass case that was getting more complicated as the day wore on. Luckily, the officer that this psycho maniac had tried to run down wasn’t badly injured. Still, it was in his nature and his job description to track down leads and find answers.

    ”Contact LAPD and the LADA’s office, fill ’em in. Get me Miami P.D. on the line, let’s see what they got on this John Doe. I don’t like the smell of this one, smells like trouble.”

    ”He’s a bad one alright boss...a real bad egg.” Smith nodded in agreement. Bad cases and bad eggs all smelled the same. They all stunk like high hell. Just like this job sometimes. Belinda was gonna have to wait. ”Oh, Pederson. Put the word out to be on the look out for any vehicles matching the description of our suspect vehicles. The blue low-rider and the silver BMW.”

* * * *

    Patty Cakes was getting impatient. She was used to her mama pulling up in the driveway and rushing in to give her a big hug and a dish full of fresh dog food. That’s twice today that mama’s been home and hasn’t even come in yet. Patty got tired of barking and jumping up and down in the front window. Now she was getting perturbed and a little bit concerned. Mama always locked the doggie door to the garage when she went to work, but Patty C wasn’t the usual mongrel mutt with no breeding and nothing on the ball. She’d taught herself how to undo the simple slide latch that held the doggie door shut, just in case of emergencies. Well, she was getting hungry and mama was lagging...this qualifies as an emergency.

    She nimbly slid the cylinder of the lock latch aside and slipped through the door into the dank garage. Mama’s car is parked there alright, she can jump up and see her inside. Why’s she not coming out? Patty senses something isn’t right and the barking and jumping commence. She can just jump high enough to see inside. There’s mama. Jump – bark! Jump – bark! Jump – bark! Something’s definitely wrong. Mama would never let her go unnoticed when she’s this distressed. Why isn’t she responding?

    Finally, the car door opens and mama steps out and gathers her up in her arms. She’s holding so tight though. She must be glad to see me too.

    G Lu cradles Patty Cakes lovingly and emotionally. She lowers the garage door to keep the car out of sight. The nine millimeter lays harmlessly on the floor of the car. The gun range training had inadvertently saved her life. When it hadn’t fired on the first try, she realized that the safety was on and no round was chambered. The second or two it would’ve taken her to do that was the time she needed to realize there was still life to be lived. Today, a stranger had risked his life for hers...it made her see there was still some good in world and even now, she began to think about how not surrendering to hate and misfortune and even grief was a better reflection of the person she wanted to be than that which she had considered a few moments ago. Strange how only a few seconds can impact your destiny for a lifetime. She thought about the strangers who had impacted hers so significantly. She wondered if they were alright and who they were. In another moment, she was back in the present with her beloved Patty Cakes.

    ”Come on baby cakes, let’s get you some dinner.” Patty C was thinking, ”It’s about time.”